faith

just got home from church, and christmas eve service. this year's theme was "how would your life change if you were absolutely certain that God Himself was with you?"
and i thought to myself, how can people who believe in God ask themselves that question? belief in anything implies absolute certainty; otherwise it is not a belief but simply a theory, an idea of some sort. it's not thinking that He's there, or saying that you believe in Him because it's how you were brought up. belief is digging down into that core of solid certainty till you find the place that you would stake your life on, should it ever come to that. and it exists somewhere inside everyone - perhaps for something different depending on who you are - but it is there.
but if you can't find that place, if you can't step out with no certainties other than what you think you believe in, perhaps it's time to think about where your faith lies, and why.

sunday secrets

(reblogged from PostSecret)

it's why He put so much beauty in the world. He can't manipulate our actions and keep us from destroying what we have, but He can make it so spectacular that we don't want to destroy it at all.
here's hoping more people realize this.

faith and tolerance

http://stfubelievers.tumblr.com/
i really hate people sometimes. it's so difficult to stay tolerant of those who are intolerant of faith in general and christians in particular. we're not all crazy, we won't all beat you over the head with a bible, and we're not intolerant douchebags like mainstream media makes us out to be. yes, there are some who only believe because it's how they were brought up, but that's not always the case.
i went through a period of agnosticism a while ago, mostly because life was pretty good and i didn't think i needed God. turns out i was wrong. when i started high school, i spiraled into depression and eventually hit rock bottom; and it's because of that, that i believe the way i do. i wouldn't be on this earth today if God didn't exist, and so because i know He does i trust Him to get me through life.
i'm not writing all this so i can convert my readers: that's not my goal in life. i simply want to get my point across: christians are people too. we don't all lead perfect lives, we don't all have that sanctimonious holier-than-thou attitude, and we're not all uneducated twits who swallow everything they're told. however, we do all deserve the same respect and tolerance of our beliefs that is given unquestioningly to people of almost every other faith.

evolution

The Matthews/Tancredo Mutual Ignorance Session
i don't know what to say about this. i'm a creationist, in biological engineering, at MIT. over the past few years, i've found it increasingly difficult to understand why a solid comprehension of science seems to automatically negate most people's faith in God. as for me, the more i learn the more i am convinced that it could not have happened by chance.
i don't object to the existence of a theory of evolution. the beliefs that other people hold don't hurt me, and for the most part i go about my life not caring about them.
what i do object to, though, is the way creationists are portrayed by evolutionists. we're constantly all lumped together as pseudoscientists, the religious right, "those people," fundies, all sorts of disparaging terms that imply that we're stuck in the Middle Ages. i realize that a disproportionately large amount of creationists lack a formal scientific background and/or come from religious homes. but religion does not imply ignorance.
i fail to see why evolutionists cannot respect creationists. our beliefs are not such that we reject science out of hand; we simply believe in a Creator who designed that which science studies.

a prayer from 2008

as i climb the mountain

i believe that i will reach the peak

though i walk through the valley

i will fear nothing

out of the storms and calms

i made myself

i am stronger for having done so

and i will remain strong

i will fight the good fight

i will finish the race

i will keep the faith

this is my walk

Lord guide my steps each day

weariness

"He gives power to the faint,
and strengthens the powerless.
Even youths will faint and be weary,
and the young will fall exhausted;
but those who wait for the Lord
shall renew their strength,
they shall mount up with wings like eagles,
they shall run and not be weary,
they shall walk and not faint."

- Isaiah 40:29-31

and when they stumble and fall, he is there to pick them up and walk with them back to where they were. put your trust in God and he will not let you fall further than can be remedied, and he will use everything that happens to you for good despite it not seeming so at the time. your tears and prayers are never in vain.

belief

I Believe In You-Steven Curtis Chapman

this song makes me feel much better today. still a lot of work to do, still a lot of other stuff that needs to get done (rehearsals anyone?), still so much on my mind that i've been worrying about a lot. the other night i was ready to drop out and work in a jazz club till i could go on broadway. seriously, when i get stressed out the first thing to pop into my head is "how the hell did i get in here?" and then the next thing is "OMG i so can't do this at all" and then i freak out and go to bed early and don't get things done at all. but this song is a reminder that God wouldn't have gotten me here if i couldn't handle it. and when i remember that He knows i can do it, it's so unbelievably reassuring.

so wherever you are in your life and no matter how stressed you get, remember that you can take it all and rise above your worries. darkness doesn't last forever.

the joy of life

i'm working my way through a copy of Ibsen's Ghosts (since i have to finish it for tomorrow's theatre class) and i came across this: "The joy of life? Can there be salvation in that?"

i don't know what conclusion was reached in the play since i'm not finished, but yes, there can be. and there is.

i walk down the river on sunny days and watch the water sparkle. i lie around on the lawn in between classes and revel in the feel of the sun on my face. and in such moments, i find peace. i can be swamped in homework, exhausted, or feeling blue, but these are such simple pleasures that just being able to appreciate them makes me forget my worries for a while.

it's refreshing to take my mind off of the garbage life will throw at me, especially since it tends to make me cranky. and when i sit and relax for a while, i feel closer to God, like i understand the world maybe a little better, or like he's reminding me that he's there and no, life doesn't actually suck.

i'm glad i realized this tonight.