funny people: or meditations on mortality

you know when you decide not to see a movie because you assume it's going to be awful, and then it turns out to be better than you expect it to be? i had one of those this week, involving funny people.
if you haven't seen it yet, stop reading and go watch it. then come back to this post.
despite the title, funny people is not a comedy. even though it involves adam sandler. it's all very realistic; from the flawed, flawed characters; to the ending, which feels remarkably uncontrived; and almost everything in between. and funnily enough, it's a bit of a thinking movie. you spend most of the movie evaluating your relationships with people, and there are even valuable life lessons sprinkled throughout!
i know, it surprised me too.
all in all, i really enjoyed funny people, despite not being a fan of most of the featured comedians. this would have been worth the money.

the new star wars

is it normal to spend the afternoon of july 4th watching star wars? because that's what i'm doing.
and good lord, but the acting in the new ones is TERRIBLE. i will never understand why mediocre actors are cast in leading roles when the film clearly has the budget to hire people who can actually act. the only bright spot is the terrible punning from R2 & C3PO.
and when someone with a visceral hatred of puns says that, you know it's got to be bad.

on being a purist

i just watched the trailer for the picture of dorian gray, and i can't decide how i feel about it. i enjoyed the book, but i read it so long ago that it has barely any effect on my perceptions of the movie. besides, while ben barnes is not beautiful the way dorian is supposed to be, he certainly is pretty.
the new sherlock holmes, on the other hand, is an entirely different animal. i've been reading holmes since i was six, and after seeing the trailer i was disappointed to see that it's basically your standard action movie, with only a different historical setting to recommend it. i suppose it might be fine as a movie on its own, but as an adaptation of a novel that i am more than familiar with it offends me.
unfortunately i seem to feel this way about a lot of movies. the past few harry potter movies left me cold; neither the jim caviezel count of monte cristo nor the french version thereof were any good as adaptations of the book (as a matter of fact, the more recent movie was an absolute travesty); and even the lord of the rings trilogy was not quite up to my standards by its close. is it better to miss out completely on what could be a good movie or be repeatedly disappointed by failures?

boondock saints

"how far are we gonna take this?
the question is not how far.
the question is
do you possess the constitution,
the depth of faith
to go as far as is needed?"

i have a reasonable amount of faith. not as much as i could have, but certainly not so little that hearing these words does not affect me.

and so i pray that one day i might find the fire that consumes all obstacles and drives those who are fortunate enough to possess it in all that they do.

watchmen

the default state of humanity is savagery. we are innately selfish, disorderly beings with little, if any, regard for anyone other than ourselves. and all of mankind's achievements have been built on the bodies of others, both literally and figuratively speaking. there is much to despair of in our society, and unfortunately we seem to be reverting to the me-first mindset now. am i afraid for the future? absolutely. we keep finding more efficient and detached ways to kill each other, as though it will protect us from death. salvation does not come from within.

god have mercy on us all.

human existence

will i lose my dignity
will someone care?
will i wake tomorrow
from this nightmare?

i was watching rent tonight for the millionth time. and this song never fails to make me cry. and i always wondered why, until it hit me tonight. this song is the anthem of human existence. no matter what goes on in your life, the ultimate question most people seem to ask is not 'when will this crap end?' they say instead 'is there somebody, anybody, who will care enough to talk to me, to listen, enough to just be here for me?' they ask 'will this destroy who i am? will it consume me into nothingness? am i wasting my time? will anyone at all hear me?'

and quite often, nobody does. that's not the way things should be. as people we are placed on this planet not to indulge ourselves, but to make it a better place. that friend of yours with the self-esteem issues? the girl who's always alone at lunch? don't pass them by. be there when they need you. you could change a life.

kiki dunst

i was watching spiderman 2 this evening. that scene where mary jane goes running to peter in her wedding dress? and she's all smiley and pretty? i miss the old kirsten dunst. i feel like she's gotten really sad and shlumpy recently and i don't like it...

dear kiki dunst: please dress well and be happy again. we miss the old adorable you. muchly. love, the world.

american psycho

this movie was a wtf. weird, hilarious, and amazingly confusing at times.

also full of gratuitous christian bale semi-nudity. i approve.

wall-e

OH MY GOD WALL-E IS THE CUTEST MOVIE EVER I AM IN LOVE

eve is badass. i want to be her when i grow up.

grindhouse

WHAT was the point of grindhouse? the guys in my suite are watching it and it is RETARDED as god only knows. there is SO MUCH BLOOD and SO MANY EXPLOSIONS and SO LITTLE PLOT and oh man WHAT IS THE POINT OF IT ALL excuse me while my brain spontaneously combusts?

EDIT: ok, so it's retarded, but in a good way. sort of. maybe. ah, screw it. probably not. but rose mcgowan's leg is kind of awesome. not enough for me to want one, but definitely badass. and her boyfriend is a cutie. is it weird that his cuteness is the only reason i'm paying even a vague amount of attention to the movie? excuse me, but i think my brain is dissolving again.

kill bill

wtf. this movie has so much gratuitous blood-letting it's absolutely ridiculous. and the soundtrack is an absolute trip. and o-ren is kinda hot and totally wins my Classy Bitch award.

oh yeah, and uma thurman has hella creepy eyes.

return of the king

i just finished watching the return of the king for what seems like the millionth time, and i have to say it just gets better and better. there's something about courage-in-the-face-of-insurmountable-odds (how cliche) that makes me want to be a better person. and the accompanying motivational speeches make me cry. come to think of it, this entire movie makes me cry (but definitely in a good way).

part of it is caused by sam. character-wise, he is my absolute favorite person. he's not at all one-dimensional, he isn't just there for amusement (see gimli the Comic Relief Dwarf), and overall he restores my faith in humanity. yes, i rely on non-humans to make me feel better about people consisting of epic and fail. this may or may not be very sad.

some of it is eowyn and her badassery. i love this girl. and at the risk of sounding completely inane, i will tell you that if she actually existed i would have the most ridiculous girly-crush on her. but she doesn't, so * sigh * i can't.

and the rest of it is, well, i have no idea really. i'm just a crier. or something.

might be because i'm a huge dork for LoTR. i've read it thirty-odd times (over a four-year period before high school); own the trilogy, the hobbit, & the silmarillion and have read them all numerous times; and used to be able to quote entire paragraphs. yeah. or maybe i'm just a dork.

but either way, tolkien was a genius.

ju-on

man horror movies are so stupid with the lights on.

ju-on in its entirety consisted of OM NOM NOM and yelling at the movie to stop being retarded.

the grudge was also a stupid movie.

:).

O_O

OH MAN THE RING 2 IS SCARY SHIT

it made me never want to have kids.

it is also an awful movie. alternating between AUGH and huh? is not the best way to spend a few hours of your life.

that being said, i want to see Ring 0.

cynicism

i was watching Wedding Crashers last night because i had nothing better to do. and the end of the movie got me thinking. why are female characters almost always such utter IDIOTS? it was like claire's only options were staying with her douchebag long-term boyfriend whose name i can't remember and honestly don't care about anyway, or leaving him for john who was a liar and also probably an idiot anyway. and gloria? marrying jeremy after she'd known him for like not long at all? really?

ladies! please! have some dignity! if your boyfriend expects you to meekly follow him when he calls you, are you really going to let him treat you like his property? srsly. you are worth more than that. and being single, contrary to common opinion, is actually not the kiss of death. IT'S ALLOWED.

and this may or may not be relevant, but ever seen The Rock? good movie. very good movie, with sean connery and nicholas cage. but the entire movie is caused by people being dumb! embarassingly dumb! like cage and his idiot girlfriend who decide to get married EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE ALMOST COMPLETELY UNSUITED because she got pregnant!

movies should come with warning labels: don't try this in real life.