it's so comfortable for the most part to remain "in like" with this guy. part of me says 'dammit woman, get a grip and move on, ' but part of me says 'no it makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside.' and so i don't want to get over him. he's not a distraction (not an unwelcome one anyway) and i can compartmentalize my life enough that he doesn't generally get in the way of working, rehearsing, or just plain unwinding unless i let my mind dwell on him.
but occasionally he does. when i do see him, even when we're not talking i can feel his eyes on me in a sort of pensive way; i catch him looking and he looks away; look, that rhymed! and i wonder what he's thinking behind that lovely face and what he sees of me through those eyes and i think about how confused he makes me and sometimes it makes me want to cry. everything seems to set me off on crying jags lately >_< -
i was watching rent the other night- and i cried. i was wandering through my itunes yesterday- and i nearly cried. i've nearly cried during rehearsal i don't even know how many times this month (all these emotionally intense songs...) and this totally doesn't seem like a lot when i write it down but it feels like so much more! damn you overactive tear ducts!
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