accountability

this morning i signed into facebook to find a post from a friend of my cousin, who lives in boston and suggested that i come check out fenway church (since i still don't go anywhere regularly *shamefaced*). i met him almost two months ago, and owing to my having been out of town pretty consistently on weekends i still haven't been able to go at all. it was a nice surprise to hear from him, and i will be going weekly once the freshman cease their invasion of my life, because it's much easier to remember to go to church when you know someone there will call you up and ask why you weren't there last week.

sunday secrets

(reblogged from PostSecret)

it's why He put so much beauty in the world. He can't manipulate our actions and keep us from destroying what we have, but He can make it so spectacular that we don't want to destroy it at all.
here's hoping more people realize this.

MMT

Makes Me Think
a friend stumbled this site the other day and emailed it to me, saying that it reminded him of me. it really does make you think, and sometimes the world seems like a better place after reading it. it's a constant reminder that there's beauty everywhere, and if we don't see it perhaps we are in the wrong frame of mind.

fairytales

it's the way you love me
it's a feelin' like this
it's centrifugal motion
it's that perpetual bliss
This Kiss - Faith Hill

love doesn't actually work like this. a relationship can't be all smiles and bliss. someone who actually loves you will go through so much with you: illness; money trouble; fears; and yes, fights too.
love is heartbreaking and it will make you cry. it will hurt you deep inside so badly that it makes you sick sometimes. love is not easy, no walk in the park. it's allowing one person to bring you by turns utter bliss and deep-reaching pain, because you do the same to them whether you know it or not.
there is no way for any relationship to be simple. human beings are by their very nature complicated creatures. love is being willing to work with this complexity and all the curveballs it may throw in someone other than yourself.
that is how you know you've found love.

O.o

how the hell did i become a relationship counselor for my friends? and since when did my advice apparently not suck?
quite honestly, i fail so hard at people sometimes that i'm surprised when people ask me things like i have my shit together. but i think it's even weirder when they say it's good advice. maybe i should start following some of it...

people worry too much

i love my friends and i get that they love me back, but it still freaks me the hell out when i get people worrying about me. especially on a day like today when i'm running on 3 hours of sleep since yesterday morning and i'm feeling sorry for myself and i kind of just want to wallow in it. as of about an hour ago i'm actually pretty good. i have a new room that is going to be wonderfully sunny and it is yellow. life is just weird sometimes.

faith and tolerance

http://stfubelievers.tumblr.com/
i really hate people sometimes. it's so difficult to stay tolerant of those who are intolerant of faith in general and christians in particular. we're not all crazy, we won't all beat you over the head with a bible, and we're not intolerant douchebags like mainstream media makes us out to be. yes, there are some who only believe because it's how they were brought up, but that's not always the case.
i went through a period of agnosticism a while ago, mostly because life was pretty good and i didn't think i needed God. turns out i was wrong. when i started high school, i spiraled into depression and eventually hit rock bottom; and it's because of that, that i believe the way i do. i wouldn't be on this earth today if God didn't exist, and so because i know He does i trust Him to get me through life.
i'm not writing all this so i can convert my readers: that's not my goal in life. i simply want to get my point across: christians are people too. we don't all lead perfect lives, we don't all have that sanctimonious holier-than-thou attitude, and we're not all uneducated twits who swallow everything they're told. however, we do all deserve the same respect and tolerance of our beliefs that is given unquestioningly to people of almost every other faith.

=)

OMG noise-canceling skull candy earbuds. best shit ever.

things i don't want to say

i'm halfway determined not to go back to new york again; or at least, not to see people who aren't family. when i go back, i go for the weekend most of the time and i only have saturday evening to hang out with friends. i give people at least a week's worth of notice that i want to see them, and invariably i get screwed. plans don't get made, or they do and then someone bails, or family is conveniently taking up an entire weekend and i'm left feeling like nobody actually wants to see me. and then to top it off, people then have the balls to give me shit about how i never visit.
it makes me sad to have to say this, but i am done putting up with this nonsense. some of these people are the reasons i made it through high school relatively unscathed, but i have other people in my life now who actually give a damn about me. i know that everyone's time is precious; so is mine. i'm not going to waste my weekends on a bus just so i can stay home saturday night because plans got fucked again. from now on, if you want to see me that badly you can get yourself on a bus and come to boston. stop making me waste my time.