i realized last week that i have no idea what to do with my life, and that i needed to drop a class to stay sane this term. so i dropped it, and changed my major. i don't know what's going to happen with my life, or what i'll tell my parents, or where anything is going, but last sunday when i realized that i don't know anything at all, it was the most wonderfully liberating epiphany i've ever had.
it would be a lie to say that i no longer worry about grad school or whether i'll get a job once i graduate, because those are still very real concerns. but for now, it's enough for me to do what i want to do with my life. yes, it's still sometimes a struggle to find a good reason to get out of bed, but there are so many more of them now. i am no longer living day to day looking for something to keep me going till the next; i just want to be happy, and it is beautiful.
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