i don't know if i feel any better for having said what i did tonight. my friends back in new york miss me, but are never around when i visit. and the sad thing is, they're the only people i come back to see. they're the only people from high school that i'm at all inclined to make time for, because they're the only ones who ever really loved me.
the memories aren't all bad, but enough of them are. enough that i feel ridiculously alienated when i visit. so many people are so fake to me. they hug me, they tell me they miss me, they say we should hang out; and yet when i look at them all i see looking back at me is the girl who cried herself to sleep every night for months, the daughter my parents almost lost, the girl who was ever so lonely for ever so long. and i can't quite ever forgive them.
there are a select five people whom i am so blessed to have known, not least because each of them did their part to keep me on this earth a while longer without ever knowing it. i miss my besties so much, and i'm so sorry you feel that i've abandoned you. i don't know when i'll be able to say all this to you in person, but if you find me here know that this is for you.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment