in limbo

another birthday is approaching, and i am reminded of why i don't want to grow up. it involves being a real adult, with an actual paying job.
thing is, i'm meant to be on the stage, whether it's on broadway or singing classically. but being a successful musician isn't just about skill; it also depends a lot on who you know. and i'm reluctant to completely commit to a career in music, simply because it takes the right circumstances to begin making money. i don't particularly want to be yet another starving artist living in a box under harvard bridge.
right now i don't really know how to handle the disconnect between the various facets of what i want from life. i'm planning to apply to conservatories & get a degree in performance after i graduate, but plans never really work out the way you expect them to. i suppose i'll just be in an interesting sort of in-between for a while; or at least, until i decide to make up my mind one way or the other.