misandry ≠ feminism.

"When a man dies, it is only a man. And one is much like another. Aye, a family needs a man, to feed them, protect them. But any decent man can do it. A woman is...infinite possibility."
~Diana Gabaldon
(posted as a cousin's facebook status)

maybe i'm in the habit of overreacting to life, but it drives me up the wall when people post things on facebook seemingly without actually thinking about the impression it gives.
i read this quote a few times in the hopes of deriving some meaning from it other than what immediately jumped out at me. it really just seems to exude misandry, implying that men are expendable and of limited use. but worse than that, Gabaldon seems to be saying that men are worth significantly less than women in the real world.
the feminist movement has already been generally viewed as angry and man-hating for generations. does it really do us any good to perpetuate this stereotype?
i can't really say anything more on this subject right now, because when i think too hard about it i just get angry, and probably irrationally so. perhaps in the morning i will be thinking a little more clearly.

meditations on drag, part 1

during the downtime between episode's of this season of RuPaul's Drag Race, i work my way through last season. or i did, until i finished the season last week. and i've found over the past few weeks that what started as entertainment and a way to kill time has actually sparked some surprisingly thoughtful discussions of gender and sexuality.
i've seen a lot of comments (mostly on jezebel) from women that view drag as an offensive parody of femininity; and while i do understand how that take on it is possible, i think it displays a fundamental misunderstanding of drag.
drag is female impersonation. the goal of impersonation is to create a convincing illusion of femininity. to this end, drag queens study women and choose to emphasize the features that, in their minds, capture the essence of being a woman. the end result? a woman with strength, character, independence, and (for lack of a better word) heart.
too many girls grow up thinking that they need to meet the expectations of men if they want to be worth anything as a person; and so it's immensely refreshing to see men to whom the important points of womanhood are characteristics that make a woman worthy of being a role model.

plots and plans

the trouble with being a woman at a top-tier engineering school is that you often lose sight of your own intentions. it feels as though we're not allowed to want to be domestic at all, simply because we want successful careers; but when you start suppressing bits of your consciousness you start going a little crazy at the same time.
i don't know where my career will be in ten years. i see myself in a house with a big, sunny kitchen, a sprawling back garden, and a piano in my living room. we're not supposed to want to be mothers, because it makes us bad feminists. but ever since acknowledging this to myself, i'm somewhat more at peace with the uncertainty of my future. i have none of it figured out, but i still feel better about all the confusion.

what it means to be a woman

as women growing up in the US, we often underappreciate the freedoms we are given. we forget what it is to have a real passion for what we believe in, what it means to fight for what we want instead of passively. but if we intend to change the world, we cannot allow ourselves the luxury of ambivalence. women the world over are willing to die for what they believe, and even if we have no need to, it is the way we should live our lives. we will one day have daughters. they should not have to die like her, no matter where they are.

the right to life

pro-life
the belief in the sanctity of human life
a child should not be brought into the world if it will have no life fit for a human being: a future of abuse, a painful disability that will result in its death anyway, the prospect of being bounced around an abusive system if put up for adoption.
if in giving birth, the mother's own life is endangered, both lives are at stake since the mother may not survive to bring up her child.
honor killings happen even in supposedly "civilized" countries. if an abortion can prevent a family from killing a daughter or a niece, where is the debate? surely it's better to save one life than neither.

pro-choice
the belief in a woman's right to choose what is best for her own life
many women are not ready to have children.
in some cases, they're university or graduate students on their way to a successful career, maybe even a professorship. a pregnancy can ruin those plans in an instant and she may never fulfill her dreams, choosing instead to have a shotgun wedding and become a stay-at-home mom, or to be a single mother who may not be able to continue and finish her education until it's too late. granted, there are some women who would not resent their children for causing this state of affairs, but there are all too many who would. harboring any sort of resentment in the first place can destroy a family: how much more, then, if it's specifically directed at your child?
and on the other side, we have the underprivileged teenage mother, who doesn't necessarily know how to take care of a baby, and her baby daddy, who assuredly does not. maybe one or both of them come from a broken home and have never lived in a functional family. or maybe he leaves her and she has no job, no way of supporting herself or the baby. what then? is that any sort of way for a child to grow up?

the right to life is not the right to a chance at being alive outside the womb. the right to life is the right to grow up healthy and functional; the right to a life that is as good as, if not better than, the way your parents grew up; the right to actually live.

insomniac

i can hear your bare feet on the kitchen floor
i don't have to have these dreams no more
i found someone just to hold me tight
hold the insomniac all night
~insomniac; billy pilgrim

i went to bed last night and lay awake with my new favorite song stuck in my head. the irony was not lost on me. the virginia gentlemen arranged it beautifully though, so no complaints. though i'm no insomniac, it feels somehow relevant to my life.

i'm no sorority girl

a friend of mine asked me earlier today whether i would ever consider joining a sorority, then asked me for my reasons when i told him i never would.
for the most part, i don't like being around women. we're taught from a very early age that we need to conform as closely as possible to a certain ideal: the face we need to project, the body we should have, and the personality we should express. we're also told to manipulate men and tear down other women in order to get ahead and be "independent," yet society is constantly telling us that we need a man constantly in our lives so that we can be complete.
and women buy into this nonsense, to the point where we're bitchy and catty and will destroy others at the drop of a hat if there's even the slightest sign that it may benefit us somehow.
granted, there are women who don't behave like this and are actually decent human beings, but most definitely not enough.

a feminist's dilemma

one of my most long-standing friends has a baby sister who'll be a year old in april. the baby is absolutely adorable, there's no doubt about it, and i love being around her (except she makes me want kids of my own, which is just scary). but i was talking to her earlier and she was talking to me about watching the inauguration with her mom & baby sister, & how much her sister loves the snow, and internally i was like "is the baby really all you can talk about? that's so...female of you." It unnerved me a bit, but is it really so bad of me to feel that way? i feel like women have been so relegated to the kitchen and the nursery in the past that given the options we have now, you're letting the rest of us down if you fall into that housewife mentality as early as your teens.

or maybe i'm just being irrationally feminist? what do we think?

embarrassed to be female?

i watched meangirls today. it's so much like my high school it's frightening.

and then i was informed that one of our sororities wants to recruit me. i don't do the whole sorority thing. i don't want to live with a bunch of girls. girls are catty and i much prefer to hang out with guys. at least if they don't like you they're up front with you about it. girls are also much more prone to freak out about stupid stuff i think. in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter what you wear, when you wear it, little things like that. girls seem to attach far too much importance to fitting in and being like everyone else, and it embarrasses me. yes, i am embarrassed to be female sometimes.

sarah palin does that to me too. she's ignorant and pretends not to be. she feels like such a throwback to a pre-women's lib era. and worst, she seemed to want to use religion to justify her platform. i'm not saying you can't have religious beliefs that color your personal beliefs as well: i think most people do. but you can't use religion as an excuse for a standpoint. your own understanding of your religion affects your stance on issues, not the religion itself.

i think i'm just in a mood today...

tiny blondes

kristen bell is adorable. can i keep her?

i seem to have an odd weakness for tiny blonde celebrities. 

kill bill

wtf. this movie has so much gratuitous blood-letting it's absolutely ridiculous. and the soundtrack is an absolute trip. and o-ren is kinda hot and totally wins my Classy Bitch award.

oh yeah, and uma thurman has hella creepy eyes.

dignity

jonassecrets.tumblr.com

please ladies...don't ever be like the girl who wrote this. there is no excuse for ever dating a man who treats you like this one did her. here's a hint why: you're not worth enough to him for him to treat you well. and trust me on this one, no guy is worth being hurt. ever. it's better to be embarrassingly single.

jonas brothers

just for the record, i am in no way, shape, or form a jonas brothers fan. i have better things to do with my life than listen to sugarcoated boy bands who are younger than i am. but a link to jonassecrets.tumblr.com popped up on another one that i follow and i took a look. i don't know what to think...personally, girls like these make me rather embarrassed to be female- especially the older girls who you think would know better. but at the same time, i remember being in middle school when everyone had celebrity crushes, and i figure, well, these girls will grow up and learn eventually. i just really hope they do.